M. Dennis Paul, Ph.D. | Professional Conflict Management Services-------------------- Thought Addiction Specialist

Quick Guide for Arbitration & Mediation Services

ARBITRATION
DIVORCE/SEPARATION MEDIATION
POST-DIVORCE MEDIATION
MARITAL (COUPLES) MEDIATION
FAMILY/CHILD MEDIATION
PARENTING COORDINATION

"The court process is fraught with disadvantages. It involves two attorneys being paid for their time. It can involve tactics and strategies that inflict emotional wounds. It is sometimes conducted in such a way as to maximize the time spent by the attorneys. Many studies have shown that the shorter and less intense the conflict between the parties, the less the children suffer. The court process, however, is simply not designed to minimize the conflict."

WHY MEDIATION WORKS

Excerpt from: Your Divorce Advisor
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10 Tips on Why Mediation Works

Mediation can work for almost any divorcing couple or parents with custody conflicts. While cooperating couples may choose mediation from the outset, even families with high conflict divorces can benefit from mediation. Because litigation encourages acrimony and conflict, it's actually the high conflict divorces that can benefit most from mediation.

Mediation works because:

1. You determine the schedule and the issues. Because you set the schedule, mediation is much faster than litigation--you don't have to rely on the court's schedule.

2. You control the cost, which is typically less than 1/3 of the cost of a traditional divorce case.

3. You have the flexibility of taking time to consider how a decision will affect your future. You can agree to "try out" agreements to see how they work, and make changes as you learn more about how these agreements work in practice. You make the decisions you'll be living with - not a judge.

4. Because you participate in each decision, the outcome is tailored to your family. When you litigate and have a judge make decisions for you, the outcome can be unpredictable, as well as impractical for your family.

5. Mediation is healthier for you and your family, since part of mediation is learning to communicate better, which is especially important when children are involved. Agreements made in mediation have a higher degree of compliance and success than those negotiated in the courthouse, because you control the outcome.

6. Mediation is confidential and private. You can discuss the issues that are important to you in the privacy of the mediator's office, rather than a crowded courthouse hallway. A mediator's files are confidential. Court files are public records that anyone can see.

7. You can always choose to litigate if mediation is unsuccessful. It's much more difficult to choose to mediate (but not impossible) after litigation has fueled the fire of conflict and made it more difficult for you to communicate and trust each other.

8. You can choose your mediator, but you cannot choose your judge. Because you can choose your mediator, you can decide what kind of mediator will work best for you. Would a therapist be helpful in determining custody and parenting plans? Would an attorney with some financial planning background be helpful in deciding how to divide assets? You can also choose to include several professionals in your mediation as consultants.

9. It's the mediator's job to make sure that everyone gets a chance to express all of his or her concerns. If your spouse has been overbearing in the marriage, or you've been too shy to express yourself, the mediator will help balance the power between the two of you. In court, it's too often a matter of whose lawyer is the squeakiest wheel.

10. For all these reasons, mediation is less stressful for you, your children, and your family.

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Mediation, as a means to keep separating and divorcing couples focused on issues to preserve and protect the rights and needs of children, as well to settle assets and liabilities and other issues relative to such actions, is now a common mandate of the courts in New Hampshire as well as a number of other states. Couples who do not attempt to settle these issues prior to filing for court appearances may find that courts will either order them to engage mediation or appoint mediators for them. Dr. Paul does not, at this time, accept court appointments, preferring to work with couples prior to any court filings or upon their own initiation post filing.

     There are considerable financial benefits to engaging in mediation before filing for either separation or divorce. Statistics show that the overall cost of such actions is decreased by roughly 1/2 to 2/3 when Mediation is utilized in advance. Again, the same applies in post separation and divorce disputes. Where the average divorce may cost couples from $10,000 to $30,000, it is easy to see why Mediation is a smart way of approaching such an action.

     Divorce and separation are often very contentious and emotional actions. Historically, couples engaged attorneys to "do battle" for them. These "battles" prolonged the inevitable dissolution, mourning, and healing that are necessary for a return to some semblance of normalcy and they cost the combatants considerably in terms of both emotional and financial stability and well-being. The courts have noted the toll this method imparts on the parties involved and has, for its own part, realized the overwhelming burden and cost of administrating divorce cases. Mediation has proven a remedy, in part, for these issues and has, by its own nature, created a far less adversarial process which promotes a healthier enactment of resolve.

Through the Mediation process, parties create an atmosphere of cooperative problem solving and future building out of this highly emotional act of dissolution. Mediation is a structured but informal method of reaching agreements designed by the parties themselves. Sessions are conducted by neutral, third party mediators. The conflicting parties present their points of view and the mediators actively assist them in designing an agreement that meets both sides' needs. Through the Mediation process, parties create an atmosphere of cooperative problem solving and future building out of this highly emotional act of dissolution. Mediation helps the parties form a basis for future communication and cooperation regarding the raising of children, helping to insure the healthiest environments in which the children may thrive after divorce. It can also help in creating a less threatening and dark relationship for the parties throughout the separation/divorce process. Often, parties will soften to a degree and discover a calmer acceptance of the realities they face in dissolving their partnerships.

The Mediation process is confidential. Parties are able to keep their private matters "private". Mediators do not report to the court anything discussed in mediation. Mediators prepare a Memorandum of Understanding which the parties may take to court either on their own or through an attorney or attorneys and have incorporated as their final stipulations. Prior to this, Mediators assist in the creation of mandatory Parenting Agreements and Uniform Support Orders. Mediators are not acting as lawyers and do not advise on matters of law. They will refer parties to their attorneys, counselors, financial planners, accountants, and other reliable resources. With the consent of all involved, parties may invite their resources to Mediation sessions for assistance and support. Mediation is voluntary, confidential, non-adversarial, neutral, objective, and empowering.

The major differences between Litigation and Mediation are:

1.) in Mediation, the parties are in control of the process while it is the attorneys who control Litigation;

2.) typically, the amount of time needed to settle all issues prior to final hearing is greatly reduced through Mediation;

3.) the cost of separation/divorce is typically reduced by 1/2 to 2/3 through Mediation.;

4.) there is a higher degree of satisfaction with outcomes resulting through Mediation as well as a higher degree of compliance ;

5.) Mediation improves the parties capacity to resolve future issues on their own or with neutral assistance.

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How long does divorce mediation take?

Since all divorcing couples and their situations
are different there is never a fixed time frame.
The "right" number of mediation meetings and
their duration and frequency are determined by t
he actual time each couple needs to work out
mutually satisfactory arrangements of their
post-marital lives.

Do I need a lawyer during divorce mediation?

Every spouse in divorce is absolutely entitled to be
represented by a lawyer at any time. On the
other hand, no divorcing spouse can be c
ompelled to retain counsel. Some divorce
mediation clients are represented by counsel
from start to finish. Some clients hire an attorney s
olely to review documents. Some never hire a l
awyer. I advise all clients in divorce mediation to
seriously consider retaining counsel, at least
to review the Memorandum of Understanding before
signing it.

What happens if we can't reach an agreement i
n mediation?

When couples cannot reach an agreement on
the terms of their divorce, a judge is empowered
to impose a "settlement." Therefore, divorce
mediation only succeeds when both spouses
actively make a good-faith effort to reach
agreement. With no legal obligation to r
esolve their differences, each spouse's
genuine commitment to achieve a fair and
reasonable agreement is essential for their
divorce mediation to succeed.

How much does divorce mediation cost?

Couples share the cost of their mediation. My
hourly fee for divorce mediation is $150.00 if c
onducted in a location provided by either party
and $195.00 p/hr if conducted in a location
provided by me. This fee applies to all my time
spent in meetings, on the telephone, and in
drafting agreements and other documents. Travel
time is not billed within a 30 mile radius of
Nashua, NH. All clients deposit a $1500.00 retainer
at the beginning of their divorce mediation.
A cost/fee of $300.00 is immediately deducted
for client data setup and preparation of the
Memorandum of Understanding so it is likely that
additional retainer amounts will be required
as Mediation progresses. Just how much depends
on the resolve of the clients to create a workable
solution to their issues. Typically, Mediation will
reduce by 1/2 to 2/3 the cost of divorce.   All
retainers are deposited in a clients' account
and applied against billed time and expenses.
After the mediation ends any account balance
due to clients is promptly refunded. I
encourage clients to do as much work as
possible on their own to help minimize
their mediation costs.   Divorce mediation
clients negotiate directly with one another.
Through face to face negotiations the role of
attorneys is limited and legal costs are
dramatically reduced. By cutting the cost
of divorce, mediation preserves more of the
marital assets for the parties and their children
after the divorce.

Is Mediation Confidential?

The confidentiality of mediation is protected by
law. This protects any communication made
in the course of the mediation. It includes all
memoranda, written materials and the mediator's
case file. If the mediation fails the mediator
will not become a witness for or against either
spouse. In addition, neither spouse is permitted
to disclose any confidential communications or
materials that were made in the course of the
mediation in any judicial proceeding.
Confidentiality requires that the parties
sign an agreement to mediate with a
qualified mediator. My mediation contract
makes one exception to the rule of
confidentiality. That sole exception applies to
abuse. The reason for this exception is that
no one can freely negotiate while in fear of abuse.

In particular, child abuse is required to be reported.

Is Mediation for Everyone?

Though considerably less
expensive than litigation,
mediation is not for everyone.
Mediation is a poor choice for
couples who lack trust in the
other’s financial and other
disclosures. Mediation presumes
full, honest, and complete
disclosure. If this is absent,
mediation cannot work to
the best interests of all i
nvolved. Under such
circumstances I would
advise against it. In

situations where an obvious
imbalance of relationship exists
due to physical abuse or the
perception that such abuse might
occur, Mediation may not be the
right choice. Many Mediators will
not work with clients under court
restraint or where an appearance
of abuse exists. There are means
to mediate under such circumstances i
f a Mediator has the experience
to address the imbalances. Dr. Paul has
this experience and will accept such
mediations on a case by case basis.

Mediation is highly successful for couples
willing to make a good faith effort
to reach an agreement on the issues
that must be resolved by separation and
divorce.

For more info on Mediation, click here

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DIVORCE/SEPARATION MEDIATION SERVICES

I currently offer Mediation Services throughout the New Hampshire and Mass. area.

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Post-Divorce Mediation

As children grow older, circumstances which formed the initial Parenting Agreement often change. This requires revisiting the terms of agreement and altering them to fit the newer circumstances. In some cases, parents who have divorced are willing to make those changes without much ado. However, that is the exception. Post-divorce litigations have plagued the courts and caused needless suffering to all parties, particularly the children. Mediation is the route now recommended, and often ordered, by the courts.
I offer Post-Divorce Mediation at the same rates as above.

Justices and Masters are now seeking to limit the amount of returns to the court post divorce. They prefer to review the settlements made through negotiation and rule on their practicality and legality. They have considered the lengthy process of litigation as detrimental to the needs of the children of divorced couples. Typically, 2-5 court appearances, with numerous delays, spread out over the course of a year to 18 months. The constant shuffling of schedules wears away at the courts as well as the litigating parties. The expense for legal representation can sometimes equal that of the initial litigated divorce.
Mediation is the solution.

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Couples Mediation

Sometimes, couples get stuck in the process of supporting themselves and their relationship. Counseling is not always the right method to bring balance back to these relationships. When Counseling does not appear to be the best solution, Mediation often fills this need and is quite effective.

I offer Mediation services to couples who have realized this need.

The reasons for using Couples mediation vary greatly but often revolve around finances, housing, jobs, and relationships with ex-partners with whom either children or financial ties still exist. In some instances, the format for Mediation will move from Couples to Family/Child (see below). Often, power struggles exist in relationships and it takes hard work, self assessment, and willingness, to find satisfactory solutions. Mediation assists couples in working toward and realizing such solutions.

Communication has typically become an obstacle in resolving issues facing couples. Mediation helps to restore communication.

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Family/Child Mediation

When families are having trouble communicating and effectively supporting all members, Mediation is an excellent method for reaching healthy solutions.

Family/Child Mediation encompasses all manner of family configurations and assists in addressing all manner of family issues. From difficulties in raising children to troublesome children, from mixed families to extended families, from parents to grand parents to inlaws, from separation to divorce to remarriage, and more, Mediation embraces the concept that restoration of communication and active participation in solution building are the keys to creating healthy relationships.

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Couple and Family/Child Rates

Please call 1-603-888-1135 or Email mdp54@comcast.net to discuss your case and to obtain rates.

ARBITRATION SERVICES & FEES

I also offer Arbitration Services primarily in the areas of Parenting Coordination, Consumer Issues, Employment Issues, Health Care, and Labor disputes. These services are available both online and face to face. In providing these services, I will, at times, couple with a practiced attorney familiar with the type of case presented. This insures a higher level of attention to complex legalities in contracts. To learn more about Arbitration, please read the following:

Arbitration is a form of alternative dispute resolution — specifically, a legal alternative to litigation whereby the parties to a dispute agree to submit their respective positions (through agreement or hearing) to a neutral third party (the arbitrator(s) or arbiter(s)) for resolution.

Arbitration may also serve a distinct purpose: as an alternative to strikes and lockouts as a means of resolving labor disputes. Labor arbitration comes in two varieties: interest arbitration, which provides a method for resolving disputes about the terms to be included in a new contract when the parties are unable to agree, and grievance arbitration, which provides a method for resolving disputes over the interpretation and application of a collective bargaining agreement.

A growing trend among employers whose employees are not represented by a labor union is to establish an organizational problem-solving process, the final step of which consists of arbitration of the issue at point by an independent arbitrator, to resolve employee complaints concerning application of employer policies or claims of employee misconduct. Employers in the United States have also embraced arbitration as an alternative to litigation of employees' statutory claims, e.g., claims of discrimination, and common law claims, e.g., claims of defamation.

Arbitrators are not bound by precedent and have great leeway in such matters as active participation in the proceedings, accepting evidence, questioning witnesses, and deciding appropriate remedies. Arbitrators may visit sites outside the hearing room, call expert witnesses, seek out additional evidence, decide whether the parties may be represented by legal counsel, and perform many other actions not normally within the purview of a court. It is this great flexibility of action, combined with costs usually far below those of traditional litigation, which makes arbitration so attractive.

Arbitrators have wide latitude in crafting remedies in the arbitral decision, with the only real limitation being that they may not exceed the limits of their authority in their award. An example of exceeding arbitral authority might be awarding one party to a dispute the personal automobile of the other party when the dispute concerns the specific performance of a business-related contract.

It is open to the parties to restrict the possible awards that the arbitrator can make. If this restriction requires a straight choice between the position of one party or the position of the other, then it is known as pendulum arbitration or final offer arbitration. It is designed to encourage the parties to moderate their initial positions so as to make it more likely they receive a favourable decision.

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American courts can overturn arbitral rulings only for extremely gross procedural errors that violate due process, but cannot reverse most substantive errors.

Unlike judicial opinions, arbitration opinions are often confidential. As a result, the law relating to activities (such as reinsurance contracts and certain types of securities industry disputes) where contracts to arbitrate are widespread may develop more slowly because the usual process of creating precedent is not available.

The "judge shows" that have become popular in many countries, especially the United States, are actually binding arbitration. The most famous example is The People's Court.

There are two types of arbitration: binding and non-binding. In binding arbitration, the parties agree to waive their right to go to court for a judicial decision. In non-binding arbitration, the parties have the discretion to abide by the arbitrator's decision.

The value of arbitration lies in its relative speed and low cost. Both parties must agree to submit to arbitration; no one party is "dragged into court." The process is intended to be user friendly and it is relatively private, usually involving only the interested parties and relevant witnesses, if necessary. It provides the parties with an opportunity to choose an arbitrator with experience relevant to the substance of their dispute. Finally, parties can pursue their own cases with or without an attorney. Formal rules of evidence normally do not apply. However, strict procedural requirements must be followed.

Some arbitration proceedings are mandatory (enforced by statute), such as many labor disputes. Other arbitration proceedings are selected in advance and written into contracts. In fact, many couples who sign cohabitation agreements or divorce agreements include a clause agreeing to go to arbitration (Parenting Coordination) if any dispute should arise, thereby avoiding the delay, expense, bitterness and formality of litigation. Other arbitration proceedings are chosen by the disputing parties after the conflict arises, but are also to avoid the delay, expense, bitterness and formality of courts.

Like litigated judgments, and unlike mediated settlements, an Arbitration order can be enforced in court under laws that allow an Arbitration decision to be entered in the court system and then become a “judgment.” The prevailing party can collect on the Arbitration order using all available legal collection methods, such as levies on property.

Fees for Arbitration are typically based on the time for two Arbiters and any travel time and mileage. There is an additional fee for the preparation of client data and the statement of final award. A retainer of $3500 (See Rates for Parenting Coordination) is required at the signing of agreement for services to be rendered. The hourly rate is set at $ 300.00. The award statement and data fee is $500.00. Travel time is charged beyond 30 miles of the City of Nashua, NH at a rate of $100.00 per hour. Actual fees are based upon the above, however, may vary on a case to case basis. In some instances only a single Arbiter is required thus reducing the hourly rate by half.

PARENTING COORDINATION SERVICES

What is a Parent Coordinator?

A PC is a child-centered professional who has considerable training and skills in Mediation for Couples, Families and Children, and Divorce, Separation, and Post-Divorce. The PC also has developed the insight, training and skills to effectively act as an Arbiter (Arbitration). A PC contracts with parenting partners (co-parents) for a specified period of time (typically one year renewable) either through self initiated contact, through a Parenting Plan clause, or through an order of a Judge or Marital Master. The purpose of contracting with a PC is to assist in the settlements of disputes where other dispute resolution processes have faltered or failed. The goal of a PC is to determine a resolution which best serves the interests of the child or children at the heart of the dispute.

What Authority Does a Parenting Coordinator Possess?

    A PC is empowered by either a court mandate and/or an agreement between parties to:
               1. Meet individually and jointly with the parties
               2. Interview and/or observe the children
               3. Gather information from other necessary sources (teachers, therapists, etc)
               4. Physically observing (as in visiting a school, sport function, etc)
               5. Assist co-parents in reaching child-centered decisions that they are having difficulty
               agreeing upon (This might be about school, sports, music, camps, car exchanges,
                    vacations, communications, etc)
               6. When all else fails, making a final determination with the best interests of the children in
                   mind.

Over What Issues Does a PC exercise Decision-Making Authority?

childcare arrangements
counseling
medical, vision , and dental
Parenting exchanges
transportation
education (school choice, extra curricular, tutoring, home-schooling, etc)
discipline (cannot transgress cultural/religious mores which do not break laws)
Communications (party to party and both or either to children)
other issues either specifically directed by court order or agreement by parties

What Authority does a Parent Coordinator not possess?

The PC cannot mediate or arbitrate matters which are clearly defined in a court order with the exception of responding to specific stipulations mandating a PC be utilized to assist in reviewing and drafting proposed changes to Parenting Plans and Permanent Stipulations. The PC does not have authority to contradict or in any way change an existing order.

What about confidentiality?

The rules of confidentiality in working with a PC are not the same as with Mediation. Any imparted or discovered information will be shared with both parties and may be accessible to other parties such as State agencies and Licensing bodies. Where there is a perception or obvious threat to one or another party (especially toward children) information becomes accessible to relevant authorities. The PC's records may be subject to court review and/or subpoena as well as through court order and client stipulation (as in proposed changes to Plans and Stipulations).

What is the process in working with a PC?

1. Assessment: Each party is interviewed separately for a minimum of 1 hour. Additionally, both parties will typically meet together for 1 hour with the PC. Sometimes this is not possible or not agreeable and an alternative arrangement is supplanted. Co-parents will be requested to complete a few questionnaires and releases. In most, but not all circumstances, the PC will also schedule an opprtunity to meet with the children involved either to interview or simply observe. The assessment phase is designed to create a base for all communications and determinations in the present and future.

2. Co-Parent Facilitation: A series of meetings with both parties present (3-6 meetings typically) is arranged to assist the co-parents in improving their communication skills and establishing a joint effort toward implementing consistency in their parenting efforts. This is not always necessary, however, it commonly helps to decrease tensions and the frequency of "urgent" meetings.

3. At times there will be need for urgent meetings requested by at least one parent. Typically these arise in response to time sensitive issues where both parties have exhausted communication and failed to negotiate a reasonable solution. It is not always possible for the PC to act upon such requests. A part of the PC's work with parents is to promote healthier communications. This can be applied to organizing issues so that time sensitivities are limited. If at any time an issue presents as an emergency (where safety is threatened), it is imperative that proper emergency authorities be ciontacted immediately. It is not the function of the PC to respond to emergencies.

4. Source/Data Gathering: A PC will have or may be given specific fact gathering responsibilities which may be backed by court or parental authorization. This fact finding may require access to school records, school autorities, physicians and mental health practitioners, mentors, instructors, guardian ad litems, other court orders and other professionals relevent to the process.

5. Review: The PC will review all pertinent facts and statementys from all parties and summarize them for review and further discovery with parents involved.

6. Decision and Recommendation: The PC will render a decision (or decisions) based on a reasoned assessment of fact and in the best interest of the children. Further, he will explain the basis for any decision and make recommendations for the benefit of the children and parents.

What do I Need to do?

Mediation is conducted face to face...not online. To engage this service, you can call: 603-888-1135 or email: mdp54@comcast.net with your interest in Mediation. You will be sent, by snail mail or email, financial forms which must be completed by both parties and returned to Dr. Paul prior to the start of any Mediation service. Along with these forms, a retainer must be deposited. There are two ways to accomplish this online. The link below will take you to a page where you may use your credit card to deposit your retainer fee. You do not need to have an existing PayPal account to pay by credit card. You may also send a check (or two separate checks representing 50% from each party) for the fee to:

M. Dennis Paul, Ph.D.
16 Topaz Drive
Nashua, NH 03062

You may also call: 1-603-888-1135 to arrange for payments over the phone.

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